Bible Riddles

(and a few more that are not specifically biblical in nature)

From Rabbi Ken White:

What is God's favorite sport?

Baseball because the Torah begins (in English) In the big Inning.

What sport did Moses play?

Tennis or basketball because we know that Moses played in Pharoah's courts.

From Dr. Joel Hoffman:

When God plays tic-tac-toe with the people Israel, is God X's or O's?


From Rabbi Stuart Federow:

How do we know that tennis is mentioned in the Bible?

"And Joseph served in Pharaoh's court."

From Rabbi Steve Arnold:

How do we know that Moses played football?

Moshe kibel et haTorah umasra liY'hoshua...etc. Obviously he was playing football!

From Rabbi Joan Friedman:

How do we know that righteous people do not need a prayerbook on the High Holy Days?


How do we know that mashiach will have a beard?


How do we know that Yosef was Moshe's mother?


This one comes from Dr. Harry Orlinsky z"l: How do we know that Vashti was cloned?


From Rabbi Walter Rothschild:

Who is the first man mentioned in the Bible ?

"Chap. I".

Who is the shortest man mentioned in the Bible ?

Bildad the Shuhite

From Alexis Baron:

What did the flea say when the camel stepped on it?

Ashira la-Hashem, ki GAMAL alai!

What do you say before having Coca-Cola?

Mizmor l'Soda

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah--he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharoah's daughter--she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.

Q. Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A. Nebuchadnezzar--he was on grass for seven years.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A. Honda... because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson--he brought the house down.

Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.

Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
A. They really raised Cain.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home

Q. The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories?
A. They used floodlights.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David--he rocked Goliath to sleep.

Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.

Q. If Goliath is resurrected, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
A. No, he already fell for it once.

Q. How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?

A. Because in Job 16:12, 14, 16 we read, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up: and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me."

Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharoah's court.

Q: How do we know that they played cards in the ark?
A: Because Noah sat on the deck.

From Mark Mietkiewicz 

Q: What did the thief say to the Lubavitchers?
A: G'mi-loot Hasidim!

Q: What did the thief get away with?
A: Loot of the Frum.

Q: What brachah should you make before turning on the ignition after filling up your car?
A: ...Lehadlik ner Shell.

Q: What brachah should you make before sitting on bubble gum in a Sukkah?
A: ...Layshayv Bazooka.

Q: Why do you recite Psalms for sick people?
A: T'heal 'em.

From Immanuel Burton

Q: What type of food is permitted on Yom Kippur?
A: Fast food.

Q: Why do Jews wear phylacteries?
A: To-fill-in the time.From Rabbi David Bienenstock

Q: How do you say "to send children out to recess"?
A: Motzei zerah l'vatala

Q: How do you say to "westernize Arabs"?
A: Hama'ariv aravim.

From Dr. Alex Grobman

A couple are embroiled in an argument about who should make the morning coffee. "You wake up first," the husband says to his wife, "so you should make the coffee."

"But the Bible ordains that the husband should make the coffee," his wife retorts.

"Where does it say that?" the husband demands.

"Right here," the wife says, opening a Bible. "Look, it says 'Hebrews.'"

More Jewish Humor: